It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
