We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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