There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
