Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
