so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
