So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
