Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
