Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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