i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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