dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
