Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
