I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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