Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
