i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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