im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
