Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
