Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
