it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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