thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
