A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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