similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Farmville is her only friend.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
