In the future we'll all be gay
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
