I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
