I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Less talking, more tequila
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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