I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
