She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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