i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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