eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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