How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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