Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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