Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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