people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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