He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize