u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
BRING THE BAGELS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
