I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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