Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
