Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
