i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
