I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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