Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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