We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
