I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
