ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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