I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
