i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
