summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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