Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
