I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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