I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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