Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
